Ventriloquist (Humor)


A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, “If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?”

The Barkeep says “Depends on how good of a trick it is.”

The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster and places him behind the piano. The hamster starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink.

The drunk, after killing his drink says, “If I show you another trick can I have another free one?”

The barkeep says “If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night.”

The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the hamster.”

Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink ’em.

After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and frantically asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor. The agent wakes him up and says, “I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act.”

The drunks says “not for sale”.

The agent says, “Ok, 100 grand for just the scatting rat. The drunk says, “deal”. The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat.

The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, “Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a wimpy 100 g’s?”

The Drunk says, “Relax, the hamster is a ventriloquist”

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