Autopilot (Humor)


Two hundred and eighty-nine passengers are sitting on a commercial airliner, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.

Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is being led by a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with dark glasses.

At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start, and the airplane starts moving toward the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

The pilot announces that he has been given the all clear to take off; the airplane starts to accelerate. The passengers begin to panic.

Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, people are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts, as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the pilot: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we’re gonna get killed!”

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